A Day in the Life of a Sexologist


Going Down: Fellatio 101

The Going Down: Fellatio 101 class this past weekend, which I mentioned in my last post as being in North Jersey 2 1/2 hours away, with traffic ended up being a 3 1/2 hour drive. This, coupled with the fact that the hostess called me as I was walking out the door the night of to tell me this would no longer be a “bachelorette party” because the bride-to-be called off the wedding, led me to fear the evening had disaster written all over it.  

To my surprise, it ended up being a truly wonderful time. I love my job, and getting to do educational party classes, or as I like to call them “edu-tainment”, is my favorite part. But every once in awhile the party is a special experience where I actually form a true friend-like rapport with the women. This was one of those times.

I use carrots to teach the blowjob techniques in these classes. Why carrots? They’re more realistic in size than cucumbers (sorry guys it’s just true) and much more economical. A one pound bag is between 99 cents and $1.49 depending on the season whereas cucumbers are that price per piece.

When I started out my career as a sex educator armed with my bachelor’s degree in Sexuality, Marriage, and Family (which I got from a Catholic university- read more about that here), I wanted to teach about sexual topics I was passionate about. I created workshops on evolutionary sexual biology and the role of concealed ovulation in human pair bonding, genital integrity and the ethics of circumcision, the resiliency of the human heart and the process of grieving a relationship breakup.

But no one wants to take those classes. No one cares. No one is going to pay money to do that. So in order to make a career on this whole sex educator thing, I had to develop classes that interested them which they could view not as a “class” but as a “party”. Enter “Going Down: Fellatio 101”.

But of course I had to reconcile the fact that I would at some point be a Ph.D., would some day have not one, not two, but three degrees in human sexuality and yet being teaching people how to suck penis for a living.

So what I did was devised a way to make the classes alluring with titles like “Going Down: Fellatio 101” and play games, develop funny one-liners, and generally design a class that will put me in the position of entertainer, and once I have there, the undivided attention of a room full of women, I throw some schooling at them. I teach them about male anatomy, the sexual response cycle, the restrictiveness and inherent sexism of the cultural phenomenon of “spit or swallow”, how to alleviate the gag reflex, and tips on communicating with one’s partner about sex.

And while I think these are all great and important points, what’s wrong with learning how to suck a penis? Teaching people how to please their partner is just as worthy and noble a goal as my liberal feminist goals of empowering women to make informed spit/swallow decisions, and so on. After two years of teaching over 500 women how to enhance their fellatio prowess, I’ve realized that the fact that I thought myself and my fancy degrees above it was my own hang up.

I think I’ve created a good arrangement. The women have their “party” and they’re happy. I get to make a living as a sex educator so I’m happy. The boyfriends of these women are *really* happy. Everybody has a super fun time. It’s win win win.

But of course there always has to be someone who just can not stand women who are

1.      successful

2.      not sexually repressed

so just as I was coming off the high from this party, I received an email from a man who found my post on craigslist advertising Fellatio 101 and other party topics to women for bachelorette parties, and took the time on his Saturday afternoon to look up my website and email me through the contact form, saying:

You’re a slutty walking blowjob!

Here’s your new class:
"Degrading Yourself by Sucking Diseased Cocks!"

What is particularly odd about this is that the name he used was that of a famous Holocaust survivor. So I’m sure it was a fake name, but the email probably isn’t. It’s larryo@comcast.net if you want to send him a note and thank him for reminding us all that the Virgin/Whore complex is still alive and well!


And PS: Speaking of male genitals, this weekend is the Gary Papa Run For Your Life to raise money for prostate cancer research. If you can donate, do so here.

Contact sexologist Jill McDevitt: