Don’t Take Your Status Quo Acceptance Out On Me

Trigger Warning: For images of violence, mistreatment of people with disabilities, extreme sexism, racism, and homophobia.

I was having a conversation on my sexologist facebook page about the “I Saw Your Boobs” song at the Oscars, and how I thought it was in very poor taste because 5 of the referenced occasions that breasts were seen were in rape scenes or other violating encounters. And then I got the response that I am SO effing tired of getting when I preach about rape and domestic violence jokes: “oh settle down. You getting upset isn’t going to change anyone’s opinion anyway.”

WRONG.

The commenter happens to be friends with Ryan, and when I got annoyed enough and unfriended her, she texted him perplexed, not understanding how I could think I could ever change anyone’s mind. 

Why do I think I  could ever change anyone’s opinion? Because I understand history, and I know that this used to happen:

And this happened:

And this:

Because they used to haul women away who wanted to vote.

Because this was a national association:

Because these were political posters:

Because this happened:

Because this is how people with disabilities were treated:

Because this was an advertisement:

Because this was popular public opinion:

And so was this:

Because women couldn’t get car loans without their husband’s permission:

Because things were so bad for gay people that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was actually a progressive step forward when it was enacted:

Because pinching women’s asses as work was acceptable, and if she complained she could be fired:

Because Matthew Shepard died at this fence:

Because just 9 years ago this week, this happened:

The world has a long history of awful, barbaric, unjust, and just plain ugly things being accepted as normal, even good, but then over time those opinions being changed because a small minority of loud angry people fight like hell, even to the death in some cases, to make the change. But it comes with a price because we (those who fight like hell for change) have to deal with so many sheep who would like to see us sit down, shut up, and stop trying to confuse and change their world which they’re so accustomed to.

So to everyone that thinks rape jokes are funny, no big deal, and that I’m over reacting: stay out of the way please. Just because you’ve accepted the status quo doesn’t mean you have to take it out on us. Laugh at your little jokes, but stop going out of your way to tell people who are trying to change the world that they’re not going to succeed. Because we will. And in 50 years, when we look back at your “lighten up and take a joke” attitude about making light of sexual violence, you’re going to look about as absurd as school handbooks from 50 years ago that forbid girls from wearing pants:  

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has”.- Margaret Meade