A Day in the Life of a Sexologist


Jill or Feminique: My Identity Crisis

You may remember I fought tooth and nail to get the Feminique logo on the sign outside of my shop. It’s still not hanging and the reason is because I’ve been contemplating for months now about changing the name of the business.

This is because I don’t know who/what the business is anymore. The name “Feminique” says “retail” to me. Which is many ways, Feminique is. But Feminique is also an education center, a free sexuality lending library, and a sex museum.  Feminique is where people come in off the street and ask free sex advice. Feminique is a resource center for sex-positive professionals, and a space for feminist thought and political advocacy. Feminique is in-home parties, college sexuality workshops, a blog, a youtube show, and a book. Or is that Jill? See, I can’t tell the difference anymore.

There is an entity that exists which uses any and all platforms available (retail, youtube, podiums, living rooms, newspapers, etc) to advance the mission that “sex should be fun and pleasure is good for you”. That part I understand. But half of it is being done under my name, Jill, and I’ve fairly well branded the term “sexologist” to define that, and the other half is being done under the name of the physical space, called Feminique. I am Feminique. Feminique is me. But yet they have two different titles, and this is giving me an identity crisis.

When I’m on stage talking to a group of students three states away about the politics of sexual oppression, and then I welcome them to continue the discussion online by adding “Jill At Feminique” on facebook, there is a disconnect. They don’t know what Feminique is. Similarly, when someone local steps in the shop to buy some lube, and they see degrees on the walls and the website as www.thesexologist.org, there’s a disconnect. “Feminique” only tells them I sell lube and vibes, it doesn’t let people know about the shit ton else that Feminique is. I want it to all be one entity. But alas, after stewing on it for over 6 months and talking to A LOT of people about it, I’ve decided that I’m stuck with Feminique. It’s been in use for 5 years. It’s highly googleable. I can’t rename the store “Jill’s” or “Dr. Jill’s” now. 

So what I’m thinking needs to happen is that the word “Feminique” needs to become an acronym. It needs to mean more than physical entity of retail store. It needs to encompass the sexual rights advocacy, education, empowerment, women focus, sex-positive center owned by the world’s most formally educated person about sex. And that why I can end my identity crisis about what is Jill and what is Feminique and what it means that they are the same thing but with different names and outward identities. It sounds petty, but this has caused me a crap load of stress and anxiety. So… who is creative with coming up with an acronym? Aaaaanddd go:

Find me on facebook, www.facebook.com/JillAtFeminique and send me your suggestions!