Lights, Camera, Sex
This weekend was the exciting weekend of filming!
It started with me getting up at the crack of dawn, straightening my hair, and applying far more makeup than I’m accustomed to. The producers arrived at 10am and set up the camera, lights, and sound.
The pilot, which will be shopped around to different TV networks later this month and is very tentatively called “Sex Shop”, started by filming me do the things that I do when opening my sex shop. First they filmed me picking out and writing the notorious slogans for the A-frame sign. Next, I did some research for the display I’m creating for the backroom on the history of the vibrator.
But partly because of the snow, and partly because people are excited about the idea of being on TV in theory but when there’s lights and cameras in their space while their picking out a vibrator, it was very difficult to get people in the door. So it was crickets for most the day which was pretty disappointing and anti-climactic for my first close-up. However, between the “casted” clients as well as a few regulars that I personally called up and begged to come in, we got a few good client interactions on film.
I was saying to the producers as we sat waiting for someone to come in who was willing to be filmed, “you know, when Oprah first started she had to go out on the streets of Chicago and bribe people with free food to come sit in the audience so it didn’t look empty on camera, and look at her now”. They smiled.
That night I did a Fellatio 101 party, and it was the exact opposite. The hostess was super excited to have a camera crew in her living room and packed the house with over 20 friends. And the next day my family had a surprise party for my stepdad that was supposed to include a stripper, but she stood us up! Nevertheless, my family did not fail to deliver craziness for the camera. I helped my mom make chocolate penis and vulva lollipops, debated with my sister about which end was the clit and which end of the lollipop was the vaginal opening, and got a 4th generation family heirloom from Gram of naked potholders.
Me: Believe it or not, we’re not hamming it up. It’s actually like this when my family gets together.
Producer: I believe it. But are the potholders really a family heirloom?
Me: Oh yeah. They were my great grandmother’s.
Producer: Wow.
People keep asking what it was like, so here it is. First, definitely exciting. Second, exhausting. While fun, it takes a lot out of you. I slept really well Sunday night after it was a wrap. And lastly, not at all what I expected. I thought there would be a camera off in a corner and I would just do my thing as normal. But you can’t just do that because every person who is filmed needs to give permission first. So first filming has to stop, the whole reason for filming is explained, and if they agree, then based on where we stand (backroom, lingerie area, etc), the lights need to be set up and what not. Sometimes we had to repeat our conversation to be filmed from a different angle. All so very fascinating.
Back at my mom’s house, I was telling my sister in a bit of a complaining way, that if she “messed up” not to worry because they could just film the conversation again “10 million times” like they had me do all day in the shop. The producer came out from another room and said, “You know you liked it”.
Thing #1 I learned about filming a TV pilot: You have microphone and they have headphones so even if you’re in another room they can hear you gossiping. Oops!
All in all it was a once in a lifetime experience so even if nothing comes of this, I’m so grateful for such a unique opportunity!
