Rape Intervention: How Come Women Can’t Be “Heroes” Too?
Trigger warning re: rape victim blaming, street harassment
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You may recall two months ago, I wrote on tumblr about my boyfriend Ryan intervening when we witnessed a domestic assault and attempted sexual assault on the street outside our apartment. Drastic situations call for drastic measures, and he punched the man in the face to prevent what was likely to have been an even more traumatic experience for the two women he was assaulting.
The responses to my tumblr post and Ryan’s facebook post about his actions were as they should have been:
“Just read this entire post and by the end of it there were tears in my eyes. I’m not sure if it’s happy tears or not but you have a keeper Jill.”
“thank you for stepping up and saving this woman. We need more people in the world to not dismiss this kind of violence”
“Wish there was a hero button on facebook”
“Thank you. Thank Ryan. I don’t care if he has heard it a million times. Tell him to suck it up. He deserves a million more.”
“You’re like a super hero brotha”
“Here’s to you Ryan. You are a modern day hero!”
“Unfortunately more times than not there is nobody like you around to save the day. That woman should personally thank you, and thank GOD you were there. You’re a good person.”
(These are exact quotes. I took screen shots to remember all the praise he got because I was just so proud of him that day)
THEMES: Ryan is a hero. He saved the day by punching a stranger in the face to prevent a potential sexual assault.
Yesterday, there was a similar post by a different tumblr user. The post describes witnessing the frightening scenario of walking home after the bars closed and hearing two men street harass a drunk woman passing by, who ignored their catcalling and quickened her step. The blogger describes in the post how the one man then threaten to rape the woman, saying, “Fucking cunt, I’d take her into the back alley and show her what I’m made of. She won’t even see it coming,” and then laughed. The blogger intervened at that point by punching him in the face.
Responses to this tumblr post?
“Hey you crazy bitch, he was joking about rape, not raping the drunk bimbo, not even plotting on raping her, he was JOKING.”
“Wow. And you seem proud of what you did. Seriously, you’re the one who deserves to get raped.”
“I’m going to rape you”
“Your actions were in no way shape or form heroic, and quite frankly I do hope the police charge you for assault.”
THEMES: Kelsey is not a hero. She should be raped for punching a stranger in the face to prevent a potential sexual assault.
Within 12 hours, Kelsey (the blogger who punched the potential rapist) had over 34,000 comments, many of them rape threats like the ones above, to her post. Can you imagine being threatened with rape 34,000 times in 12 hours? I can not even imagine the state of her mental health at this moment, poor girl. But she perseveres and starts publishing the threats on her tumblr, which just creates more vulgarity.
“Zero sympathy. Hey, maybe you’ll learn that punching someone in the face isn’t the best action to take and that violence is inexcusable.”
“They’re both assholes. But you can’t use his being an asshole as an excuse for her being an asshole too, and committing a crime while doing so.”
Just a few minutes ago, her blog turned to this:
Let’s review all the infuriating bullshit I just described:
- Rape exists in the first place.
- Insensitive privileged assholes strike fear in women who are all too aware of #1 by raping them, threatening them with rape, or “just joking” about it, all three of which result in the same outcome: terrorizing 50% of the population.
- Cyber bullying exists in the first place.
- Rape being used as a weapon in cyber bullying. Not by a few bad apples, but by THIRTY FOUR THOUSAND people.
- Kelsey having to delete her venue of expression because she fears for her safety and life.
- That anyone should fear for their life and safety, let alone for doing the right and heroic thing to save someone else.
- That when Ryan does it its heroic and we all buy him drinks and pat him on the back, but when Kelsey does it, she should be raped. I think they’re both heroic, but if anything she is more so. He’s 6’4” and huge. She’s tiny. She had something to lose.
- The realization that any one of my numerous rape rants could go viral, and I could similarly be inundated with such hideousness.
I’m steaming mad right now. Livid.
