Juicy What?
Just a few conversations I’ve had the past day or so.
Context: Walking around Rose Tree Park with Tyler and my Grandparents looking at the Christmas light display.
Gram: did you know there is a line of clothing called juicy clitoris?
Me: I think you mean juicy couture…
Thoughts: 1. I love my family 2. As others have remarked, this would make a great name for my sex toy line I’m designing and manufacturing. Yes, I haven’t blogged about it yet, but if you follow along on my facebook, you know that’s my latest endeavor.
Context: My second phone call to the PA Department of Motor Vehicles after they denied my SEX DOC plate
DMV: How can I help you?
Me: I’d applied for a personalized plate and it was denied. I’d like to find out why it was denied, and what the appeal process is.
DMV: What was the combination?
Me: S-E-X D-O-C
DMV: Hmm, we have no record of that application.
Me: Well that’s what they said yesterday. And I’m hoping I can talk to someone who makes the decisions about these things and ask them why it was denied, and how to appeal.
DMV: Well, it was likely they deemed it offensive.
Me: But I am a sexologist. How is a job title offensive?
DMV: I’ll have the research department look into your case and call you back with a response.
Thoughts: 1. PRUDES 2. At least they are willing to hear me out. We’ll see what happens when/if they call back.
Context: I was hanging out with some girls in their apartment after a super fun Fellatio 101 party, the dynamic of which changed when the boys came home… and one who was drunk was shoving me and cornering another women because he was mad we were drinking water and not alcohol.
Me: Time for you to go home buddy.
Guy: (pushing my stomach) Water!
Me: Ok, I’m out (putting on coat).
Hostess: (just walking in room) What’s going on?
Me: I’m heading out. He’s getting a little grabby with the girls.
Girl: Um no. He’s my boyfriend, and he didn’t grab anyone!
Guy: Yeah, so get your fucking face out!
Me: Oh wow.
Thoughts: 1. My first reaction was pissed, and scared, and simulateneously glad that I had my wits about me and was confident to leave when I felt uncomfortable. 2. My next reaction was concern that the girls who hired me would think I’m an asshole. They brought me out to teach a class, not try to throw their friends out of their own house, create drama, and cause a scene. 3. Next reaction was LIVID at the girlfriend. Before the men (and the girlfriend who wasn’t at the Fellatio 101 party) came, we were having a great chat about all kinds of things, including rape culture. This was a great example of how much gray area there is, and the secrecy, and shame, and side-taking surrounding aggressive sexual whatever-you-want-to-call-it. I was in the right to stick up for myself and the girl getting cornered, and yet I felt worried that others would be mad at me for “causing a scene”. It’s such a heavy hot mess. Thankfully- it ended well. The hostess and other party guests sided with me, the guy left, and we’re planning on doing another in-home party in the future- without men.
Contact sexologist Jill McDevitt
www.facebook.com/JillAtFeminique
