The Doctorate, The Book, The Biz: An Update
The Doctorate:
Last you heard from me, I was freaking out about being a “failure”, not knowing if I should take my doctoral comprehensive exam or not. I decided to not after talking with faculty at school. If I was pissed at the process and “ivory tower bullshit” before, I’m livid now. I called to seek advice about whether I should postpone the test, and the response I got was “Well, as someone in the academy…” This makes me not want to finish my doctorate- at least at Widener. At this point, I feel like it’s not about learning anything, it’s about proving things, and being pompous and being in “the academy” (that’s not to say anything about the wonderful people I know who have doctorates from Widener, just some individuals I feel suck the fun out of it and make it seem stuck up and stereotypically what turns people off about academia)
No one I sell dildos to or teach blowjobs to cares if I have a doctorate. Only I care. So I’ve been talking to colleagues who have done professional doctorates in human sexuality as opposed to academic Ph.Ds., which is more for people who want to do clinical work, research, college professorship, or other “academy” type things. For my purposes, I think a less rigorous, less academic doctoral degree will suite me better, and I’ve been trying to seek advice about whether I should transfer out of Widener from other sexologists.
Not to mention it will cost me $50,000 to finish at Widener (on top of the approx $112,000 in student loan debt I already have…) and I’m having a hard time justifying the expense. Between Tyler and I, we have over a quarter of a million dollars in student loan debt. It’s frightening! If any rich person wants to donate to the Jill McDevitt Doctoral Degree Fund, I’d graciously accept!
The Book:
I was upset because some of the characters in my memoir/life didn’t care for my depiction of them. Things have somewhat smoothed over there. Some people have come to terms with it. Others who hadn’t finished yet when I last wrote now have and love it, countering the negativity.
If you’ve read it, this will be funny to you- both my father and grandmother made it a point to apologize for not teaching me about clitorises. In part of the book I complain that no one taught me about it, leading to shame and embarrassment about developing into a sexual person and discovering my body, and I remark that being taught about every other sex related thing but not about clits was the ultimate symbol of sexual oppression, ultimately leading me to want to be a sexologist and fight that oppression in the world. There are no words to describe what it’s like to get an apology like “I’m sorry I never told you about your clit. I feel like I’ve let you down”. Let this be a lesson to you parents!
At first I thought the majority of the work was actually writing the book. Then I learned the hardest part is editing the book. Now I know most of the work lies in promoting the book. I’ve been busy trying to set up book signings, set up wholesale accounts with bookstores, get radio, newspaper, and TV interviews, get bloggers to review it. It’s exhausting! If you know any reporters, bloggers, podcasters, or anyone who works in television, do me a favor and send them my way!
If you’ve read the book, and you liked it, the biggest help you can be is to share your review on Amazon!
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_20?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=fighting+the+crusade+against+sex&sprefix=fighting+the+crusade
I have 2 reviews so far. My goal is 10 by Thanksgiving!
The Business:
As you may have noticed from my facebook page (www.facebook.com/JillAtFeminique), yesterday I was mailed $1,500 worth of free vibrators so that I could sample them. I have the BEST. JOB. EVER. Today, someone from France sent me a message saying that watching my videos on youtube really helped his wife become a more sex-positive person. Again I say, I have the BEST. JOB. EVER.
It’s a good thing my job is so rewarding because it’s a lot of work. I feel like I’m spinning plates, and when I focus on keeping one plate spinning, another starts to wobble, and so I go to focus on that one, and a third starts to wobble. Only what I’m directly putting energy into goes well, and everything else goes poo (this is a borrowed analogy and I like it).
I just got done giving The Pleasure Room a makeover when the lingerie section needed fixing (new hangers, new inventory, clear out the clearance, etc.) I spent a lot of time and money fixing up all the lingerie, and now The Pleasure Room looks afright and I feel like it needs another makeover.
Last year I didn’t have too too many college workshops booked. This fall I started putting a TON of time, money, and advertising into booking college workshops. It’s going very well, but now private in-home parties is starting to slip. This time last year I was doing 4-6 parties per week. Now I’m only doing one per week. Can’t I have it all? Can’t I be booking a lot of college workshop AND private parties, not one or the other- depending on where I focus my energy. GAH! It’s frustrating.
But other than that, business is ok. I’m looking forward to coming up on my big $$$ season- Christmas and Valentine’s Day, and I’m looking forward to kicking it off with this year’s Black Friday sale, 50% off gift cards from 8am-12pm, and a free $10 gift card with a purchase from 12pm to 7pm!
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